Saturday, January 9, 2010

Stupid Criminals..Lights Cig While Siphoning Gas; Knife Fight Over Nachos

He lights a cigarette while siphoning and stealing gas.

They get into a knife fight over nachos.

We’re not making this up.

Lights Cigarette While Siphoning Gas

A 17-year-old Longview boy suffered serious burns on his chest and abdomen early Friday morning after he lit a cigarette while attempting to siphon gasoline from a car in the Beacon Hill area, according to police and firefighters.

This kid suffered serious burns for this stunt.

Maybe one of the best things to happen to him is that due to his age his name was not released.

Or maybe, I dunno, he’ll learn a lesson or two.

Since When Did Nachos Become a “Controlled Substance”?

From My

fight over nachos resulted in the arrest of two roommates at their South Side apartment late Tuesday, according to San Antonio police.

Marty Henke, 35, and Randy Scott Esckilsen, 45, were both held Wednesday in the Bexar County Jail. Henke was arrested on an outstanding warrant for delivery of a controlled substance. His bond was set at $30,000.

So somebody bought Marty some nachos. Only Marty didn’t want the nachos. So the somebody then gave the nachos to Randy. Randy took the nachos and was eating them, we assume, when Marty decided that hey, he really did want the nachos. Only Randy didn’t hand the nachos back to Marty so Randy stabbed Marty to protect the nachos that he rightfully felt were his.

Marty called the police while Randy fled. The police found Randy hiding nearby and while they were there they arrested Marty, who had an outstanding warrant for his arrest. I mean come on, he knew he had an warrant out and he called the cops still? According to the article the knife wound wasn’t that serious.

I don’t know if it’s the fine journalism practiced today or what but by reading this story it reads as if the NACHOS were the controlled substance. Well maybe not. But it certainly could be clearer.
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