Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Cat Called to Jury Duty; Fake White House Vegies

A cat gets called to jury duty and can’t get out of it.

And the Iron Chefs of Food Network lied to us. Of course the Obama White House also lied to us but nothing new about this.

For the veggies were fake and why couldn’t they have told the truth right from the start? We understand gardens and seasons out here in la-la land but hey, we’re just not as smart as Michelle Obama, or course not.

Cat MUST Serve on Jury

Well hey, the cat’s name IS Sal Esposito. Sounds like a human to me, perhaps an Italian, the sort who drinks red wine with gooey lasagne and smokes a big cigar afterward.

The couple thinks the issue stemmed from an error on the last census form. Just like any other member of the family, Anna listed Sal under the "pets" section. "I just wrote 'Sal Esposito', scratched out the 'dog,' and wrote, 'cat,'" Anna told MSNBC News.

Frankly I’m not sure I’d want a cat serving on my jury, in the event I ever needed one. Cats, I dunno, they’re a little arrogant. I’m thinking a cat would sleep during the presentation of the case and vote me guilty from sheer boredom.

It’s the gubmint in action, folks.

Fake Vegies and the Insult to Us Stupid Americans

The produce used on the Food Network's Jan. 3 Iron Chef of America two-hour special White House show was billed as being from the White House garden. But the show did not disclose that "stunt double vegetables" were used and not produce from the First Family's garden.

Seriously folks. In January of the year I’d have no problem understanding that the veggies of the gardens have long yielded to icy frosts and any fresh vegetables used in the cooking show then on would likely come from more temperate climes. There was no need to lie to me like I’m too dumb to figure it out.

Well frankly I did kind of scratch my head a bit because I watched this show, Food Network’s “Iron Chef” being one of my more favorite cooking shows. When it was announced, by none other than our very honest First Lady, that the veggies the Iron Chefs would use came from the White House garden, well I wondered how they were still getting fresh veggies out of a garden in January, even in middle America Washington D.C.

Hey, some vegetables do quite well in colder weather. Cabbages, for example, kale. I don’t think they grow right into January but I figured hey, it’s the White House, maybe they have little greenhouses and things.

Point being…well I believed it. I figured there were some caveats to the veggies being straight from the White House garden, like that morning a bunch of Iron Chef interns went out and ripped out potatoes, carrots and turnips out of the ground to go on the air after a quick rinse to remove the sand. I thought there must be those greenhouse things, all covered with warming plastic, maybe the care of taxpayer-funded gardeners tilling and minding the growth.

Why couldn’t the program’s announcers say that the secret ingredient would be vegetables grown in the White House garden this past summer, maybe show some pictures of robust vegetables as they looked when pulled from the ground at the Fall harvest? I mean, I wouldn’t have gotten mad or anything. I don’t live far from D.C. I get it that in January we don’t have vegetables still growing in the ground except under the extenuating circumstances as I indicate above.

But they have to lie! They have to lie about every damn little thing, lie, lie, lie.

I know politicians lie, dear Lord I’m almost 60 years old. But the current occupants of this White House bring the art of the lie to new and previously unknown heights.
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